it's raining men. sort of.

My love life is obsolete.

Want to know why? You're reading my blog so I assume you do. Unless you're just weird, reading this for no good reason and really don't care about what I have to say. If this is the case, please stop reading my blog. You're wasting your time as well as mine.

Here is why I don't have a romantic relationship. Except with Angela. She's pregnant with my child. Don't ask.

I've never been kissed, as I assume most of you know. I don't date much, mostly because boys in high school are Douche Canoes (plug for Emily's blog. again.). I am very ok with this. But recently I have discovered that there are exactly three boys I would date and I can't date any of them.

The first is bachelor is Ben.

The story: We met in U.S. History class last year. Ben is a skater, with curly blonde hair and a great sense of humor. He loves video games and comic books. He's extremely fashionable and, like me, wears bright colored converse.

The problem: Ben is deaf. For some reason unknown to me or the rest of man kind, I'm attracted to men with a missing sense. Ben has a translator, who I also became friends with, that allowed us to communicate in class last year. Since I don't have any classes with him this year I only ever see him in the halls, translator-less. Plus, I do not speak sign

language, at all. Well I can ask for more crackers. Not really very seductive. So that's a no for Ben.

The second bachelor is Spencer Donaldson.

The Story: If you don't know Spencer go to Cami's blog and watch the videos on him. (wow I'm doing a lot of advertising today.) He's the sexy one with the awesome hair. I met Spencer through Chandler. Chandler took me to see his band perform, and I would have flirted outrageously with him then, except I was in a bad mood. Also I can't flirt. It's like the sign language problem. So we didn't get to know each other until Group Therapy. Spencer plays guitar, watches horror movies, and has the cutest dog EVER! I want to be Spencer when I grow up.

The problem: Group Therapy. We aren't allowed to have romantic relationships with anyone in group. Which totally makes sense and I wouldn't break that rule for anything. I respect the group too much. So with that and my flirting retardation, Spencer is eliminated from the list of people I can date.

The third bachelor is Daniel Allanbach.

The story: I don't know how I met Daniel. We just kind of hit it off this year, and got to party at special needs mutual dance together. He's probably the funniest person on the whole planet! It's just a fact. Daniel enjoys the word "Fetus", british accents, making faces at me in philosophy, and laughing.

The problem: Again I'm flirtatiously retarded. If you know Daniel, you can probably figure out why I can't date him. If not, don't worry about it. But he's out of the running for my potential boyfriend. Also he's too cool for me anyway.

Thus we see that all the men I'm attracted to I can't communicate with, am not allowed to date, or are too cool to handle. Seems I'll be single my whole high school career. Oh well.

P.S. I'm supposed to be writing right now. Today my problems are not caused by lack of motivation, but lack of a plot line. I think I shall spend the rest of my evening outlining. Goodie.