OMG! Toats Heart the Presh!

Day 2:

I'm not really sure why I'm doing this. Free food I guess, but come on Kate, you can make your own treats for yourself that will probably be way yummier anyway! . . . .thanks conscience Kate.

Anyway! Today's blog will be about grammar. Now I know all of you grammar nuts out there are thinking "she can't talk about grammar! Look at all the mistakes she's made in the past four lines!" Well to you critics, shut up. My grammar is not great, but it is adequate, especially for the internet.  No, I'm talking about the people who can't seem to complete a word to save their lives, or use that abbreviated word in the right context. I am talking about text slang or as I like to call it The Evil Plot To Enslave and Weaken the Minds of Our Generation. I'm not sure who's evil plot this is, but I'm sure it's someones. Maybe aliens, maybe zombies. It could be our very own Dr. Doofenshmirtz using some "bad grammar-inator" on us! All I know is that it's working. So, my congratulations to Dr. Doof.

So here are some of the things that annoy me and other people I know *see dedication. 
1. "Legit"
     Guys? Why are you abbreviating this word? Legitimate is a fun word to say! Legit just makes you look like a douche canoe that can't speak. Also, you douche canoes that say "legit" could be forgiven if you said it in the right context. "dude that t-shirt is toats legit!" is not a proper sentence. Saying "I wish I was as smart as Shelden because then my social awkwardness would have a legit excuse." (thank you Mr. Collier's T.A.)  is a proper use of the slang "legit" get it right, or don't say it at all.

2. "Toats"
     As you may have noticed in the above statement I used the term "Toats" this is also annoying. I don't know why the extra two syllable of totally are so repulsive to you, but get over it. There is only one person who can get away with this and his name is Daniel Allanbach, and even he is pushing his limit. Here is why this is really annoying besides the pointless abbreviating: why is it plural? When is "totally" EVER pluralized? Unless you have created a mythical creature called a Totally or a Toat and you have multiple Totallys, don't do it. It makes you sound like an infidel.

3. "lol" and other text words.
     I can appreciate saying "lol" in the right context. When you are impersinating a valley girl, or a geek it is fine. Or when one is saying "lol" not "l.o.l.". (or if you are Toby Turner/Jenna Marbles). other than that don't say it, or any other text acronyms that don't need to be said. "BRB", not needed. Just walk away or say "Excuse me, I must go to the lavatory, but I will return presently!". "JAS". I've never heard anyone say it, but I'm sure someone has. Stop it. "WTF". say what the F*#$% or something else. I don't care about three letters. Honestly if you are too lazy to give me more than a few letters of effort I am wasting my time even breathing next to you.

4. "Prec"
     This is really only a pet peeve because a girl in my neighborhood said it over Girls Camp and I continually corrected her by finishing her word with "ious" precious! Not Prec. that looks like "P-r-e-k" not "p-r-e-sh". Maybe I'm the only one that spells it correctly though. Whatever. As I told my Kids, Gollum would be ashamed! What if he went around gargling "We wants it! We needs it! The presh." The moment seems incomplete and Gollum looses his creepiness. . . creepy/ "What the crap?" ness.

List of appropriate slang:
Douche Canoe
lol *not L.O.L.
Fuu
Bro
Broseph
Brostache
Bronie
Me Gusta
Groovy
Far Out
Douche Canoe
'sup
Yo
Holla atcha
Word G-man. (anything from She's the Man)
Douche Canoe

if you think of more and have the irresistable urge to use them, comment and I will let you know if they make the list. I will probably keep updating this list as I think of more.

This blog post is dedicated to my Carpool Kids aka My Favorite Asian and The Towhead.