Who Died and Made You F*$#%ing King of the Zombies?

So let's review and see how many things on my list I actually completed: I did go to the doctor! Just another cold, probably got it from stupid cute kindergartners. Lame. I haven't deleted my facebook, but I'm not failing Math or English. Let's see, I still don't care about my Healthy Habits class, so success there. I beat my high score on the game I'm addicted to. Not exactly what my goal was but still! That's awesome! and. . . Well hey I'm blogging again! So go me!

Now today I'd like to discuss something very dear to my heart.
You may know that I'm the kind of person that likes to be unique. I'm acknowledged as the black sheep of the family (yes, even compared to my black brother) mostly because I don't listen to country or pop music. I don't like TLC and well, my hair is short (this is the ultimate sign of insanity to my little sister) and has been dyed outrageous colors on many occasions. I don't like to give into fads, or at least admit that I'm giving in to them.
But there is one fad that I will openly and willingly give into, with no delusions that it's unique, or that I'm the hipster who did it first. This is my confession that I am in fact a zombie lover.
Oh yeah! I love Zombies! The whole "I'm gonna eat your brains" craze has infected my body and I have willingly joined the walking dead. (see my Zombie apocalypse plan for more details.) Here is why I love Zombies.

First of all, I have seen a few good zombie movies including Night of the Living Dead and Shaun of the Dead. Both are excellent zombie movies. Classics. And you must appreciate the classics before you can truly appreciate the spin offs. By this of course I mean, Zombies vs. Unicorns!

To all of you who have read this book, I have only two things to say to you. the first is that if you're a unicorn fan, you're lying to yourself and you know as well as I do that all the Zombies are badass (excuse my french) and the unicorns just suck. Most of them. I'll give the killer baby unicorn props. second is this: Imagine the best mac and cheese you've ever tasted. . .

Here's why else I love zombies; they eat people's brains. I have a secret fantasy in which I'm curled up in my bed, my vampire stalker is across the room watching me sleep. Feeling thoroughly creeped out, and secretly wishing the sun would come up so I could laugh at him sparkling, I get my cell phone. With a push of a button I've summoned the cavalry. In approximately four minutes and thirteen seconds (I've timed their response time) my own army of Zombies comes marching into the room and begin to swarm. They will then begin to stampede and devour vampire man, lets call him. . . Edward! His brains will be ripped from his skull and he will perish at the hands of true supernatural monsters.

yes, I realize this is very morbid. I'm a very morbid person. Personally I blame it on  sharing a birthday with Bram Stoker. Now he knew vampires! Sex, blood, holy water and garlic!

Not the point! Zombies are the point.
I only have one more point to make. And it's this.