Who Died and Made You F*$#%ing King of the Zombies?

So let's review and see how many things on my list I actually completed: I did go to the doctor! Just another cold, probably got it from stupid cute kindergartners. Lame. I haven't deleted my facebook, but I'm not failing Math or English. Let's see, I still don't care about my Healthy Habits class, so success there. I beat my high score on the game I'm addicted to. Not exactly what my goal was but still! That's awesome! and. . . Well hey I'm blogging again! So go me!

Now today I'd like to discuss something very dear to my heart.
You may know that I'm the kind of person that likes to be unique. I'm acknowledged as the black sheep of the family (yes, even compared to my black brother) mostly because I don't listen to country or pop music. I don't like TLC and well, my hair is short (this is the ultimate sign of insanity to my little sister) and has been dyed outrageous colors on many occasions. I don't like to give into fads, or at least admit that I'm giving in to them.
But there is one fad that I will openly and willingly give into, with no delusions that it's unique, or that I'm the hipster who did it first. This is my confession that I am in fact a zombie lover.
Oh yeah! I love Zombies! The whole "I'm gonna eat your brains" craze has infected my body and I have willingly joined the walking dead. (see my Zombie apocalypse plan for more details.) Here is why I love Zombies.

First of all, I have seen a few good zombie movies including Night of the Living Dead and Shaun of the Dead. Both are excellent zombie movies. Classics. And you must appreciate the classics before you can truly appreciate the spin offs. By this of course I mean, Zombies vs. Unicorns!

To all of you who have read this book, I have only two things to say to you. the first is that if you're a unicorn fan, you're lying to yourself and you know as well as I do that all the Zombies are badass (excuse my french) and the unicorns just suck. Most of them. I'll give the killer baby unicorn props. second is this: Imagine the best mac and cheese you've ever tasted. . .

Here's why else I love zombies; they eat people's brains. I have a secret fantasy in which I'm curled up in my bed, my vampire stalker is across the room watching me sleep. Feeling thoroughly creeped out, and secretly wishing the sun would come up so I could laugh at him sparkling, I get my cell phone. With a push of a button I've summoned the cavalry. In approximately four minutes and thirteen seconds (I've timed their response time) my own army of Zombies comes marching into the room and begin to swarm. They will then begin to stampede and devour vampire man, lets call him. . . Edward! His brains will be ripped from his skull and he will perish at the hands of true supernatural monsters.

yes, I realize this is very morbid. I'm a very morbid person. Personally I blame it on  sharing a birthday with Bram Stoker. Now he knew vampires! Sex, blood, holy water and garlic!

Not the point! Zombies are the point.
I only have one more point to make. And it's this.

be prepared!!!

Why The Lion King, you ask, small scattered audience to an unfaithful author? because I've been on and off dayquil/nyquil for three days now and it's the first thing that popped into my head. so deal with it. 

I have made a few goals for my week. here they are. explanations and likelihood of goals being accomplished corresponding with the number below the list. you may skip ones that do not interest you. 

1. go to the doctor and be tested for mono and/or stop being sick. 

2. Delete my facebook. 

3. don't fail math/english/gov and Cit 

4. screw my healthy habits class, I'll fail if I bloody want to. 

5. cure my senioritis. 

6. get over addiction to the cube crush game on the pre-set home page on my laptop

7. blog more. 

8. read/write. 

Explanations 

1. I have been sick for exactly a month. clearly my immune system is a joke. Emily and I have decided that it probably has something to do with the fact that I don't exercise, cause I'm lazy and sleeping/watching House is way better than running or push ups etc. (I write long sentences when I'm not paying attention and when Nyquil is taking over.) So I've had a cough for about a month. I finally got antibiotics, was feeling better when I got a soar throat and the cough got worse. la de freakin da. So on top of me feeling like the mucus in my nose was trying to shove my eyes out of my skull and my throat was throwing a party for fire demons, I worked. all weekend. on a three day weekend. because none of my stupid co-workers could cover for me. why? Well coworker 1 was already working a six hour shift (forgiven). co worker 2 had a presentation/study group for her dental school (forgiven.) Boss hurt her back (slightly forgiven but I'm still not happy with her.) and co worker 3 is the biggest flake on the planet and my always guiding beacon to the conclusion that drugs are SOO BAD!!  so I got to work two six hour shifts, two days in a row, had sunday off and then two five hour shifts two days in a row.  f. . . my. . . life. 

likelihood of being completed: hopefully good. 

2. I have good reason to want to do this. here's my list. (I'm a list person. can you tell? also am i sounding more sober to anyone else but me?) two people in my life have gotten into a fight that probably would have been avoided if facebook hadn't been involved. this is not the first time this has happened in my life. fact: communication is wasted on text/ social networking. unless you can find a better way to express your feelings on print, call the friggin' human! reason the second, i find i'm not on facebook enough to give a crap. who cares? all the people who are friends with me are either my actual friends who have no reason to care what i post cause they talk to me, or people who obscurely know me and want to find out if i'm really a lesbian. to those people, yes, yes i am. (to my friends, TJ is also an alcoholic.)  i just have no use for facebook, which means i'll spend more time doing this and can no longer be accused of only posting on scarce decades. woo hoo! more kate rants for everyone! best day ever! 

likelihood of being completed: wishy washy. 

3. ok this is the first year in my life that i've gotten A's in math. i'm not screwing that up. plus i like english. so i don't want to fail. i'm a good student. usually. see 4 for details. 

likelihood of being completed: optimistic. 

4. my healthy habits/internship teacher basically thinks i'm a pot head with no future. let her think that, i have no desire to prove her wrong. in fact i have plans to show up wearing my stoner sunglasses. 

likelihood of being completed: done and done! 

5. senioritis is the only reason (aside from sickliness) that i may not pass classes. must be cured.

likelihood of being completed: little to none. its inevitable. 

6. I'm addicted to this stupid game. really addicted. 

likelihood of being completed: yeah right! this game is awesome! 

7. blog more. 

likelihood of being completed: look i've already started! if this isn't a fluke of the nyquil we're set! 

8. ok. . . i'm pathetic with this. i must read Wheel of Time and Froi of the exiles! i must write if i have any claim to being a writer! i must progress!

Likelihood of being completed: dependent on how many people pester me with questions like "have you written today?" or "write damn it!" be that person! 

well. . . . 

i should sleep now. the nyquil is singing sweet dreams to my head. . . . . . oh yeah. i need to sleep. 

night all! 

strange things are afoot at the circle K

woah! blog post from kate? well don't get too excited, what i have to say is not appropriate for all my facebook friends and it was too brilliant not to share. so thoughts for the day
sometimes you just have to smile and flip the whole world off!
Naps are God sent. the end.
Some call it PMS i call it "get the hell out of my face." :)
the end