I am continually inspired by my friends and their blogposts. The fact that Emily can write some of the most beautiful things I've ever read and not even acknowledge their impact on peoples lives. The way Cambria is totally poetic without even trying. The fact that Nikki doesn't need to blog to get her thoughts into the world, because she's that open.
So once again after months of postless life here I am again. Partially because of the inspiration from others, partially from the lack of my own laptop to write my book/anything else on, and a large portion because my french homework doesn't make sense, Emily isn't here to help me and I'm waiting for my ipod to charge enough for me to watch Netflix.
As you can guess I am in college now. I am living with my dearest friend Emily, and our two suite-mates Abby and Emily (or as I will refer to her as to avoid confusion Other Emily). Thus far college has been everything and nothing I expected.
As predicted my classes aren't as hard as people tried to make me believe they would be. I have not been harassed for being a freshman. 50% of my family teases me for being a Ute instead of a Cougar. I've made good friends already and greatly miss my high school teachers, namely Atwood, Shelley, and Collier. French is just as difficult at 18 as it was at 4 years ago.
I didn't expect to be so at peace with not being in the same home I have been in for 13 years. I'm amazed I didn't weep openly when my family drove away after dropping me off. I am shocked that I see my father more now than I have in the past six months. I am not in fact starving, but probably getting more plump by the day. I have much more free time to do random things like post on my ancient blog. I cling desperately to the people I know because no matter how outgoing I may pretend to be they're my security blanket.
What amazes me the most is the sense of individuality that has come with moving out on my own. I still call my parents constantly, more than most kids as I have learned from Emily, so it isn't alone I feel. Nor is it pure freedom from any chains that bond me in my childhood (though I still protest being a child at heart forever). My family has always been very relaxed and I was always responsible for myself, making this independence of being away from home not much different than being at home. What I feel is truly best described as I said above, individuality.
I have suddenly broken away from ties in my past life. Household problems of my family no longer directly affect me. The ripple affect of my choices has suddenly gone from a large pool to a small pond. What I do will affect me, be for me, and about me. The surface of my water is not nearly as interrupted by the influences that have always been there as it used to be. My life is my own. I am on my own.
And I love it.
There is something truly indescribable about this feeling, this epiphany. Now I understand what my teachers said when they told me that high school will no longer matter. The mistakes you made, the pains you felt, all of it is washed away in a renewal of life. I won't ever forget where I have been or what I have seen and done, because those are the things that put me where I am now. I am me because of what happened to me. but now all I see is the opportunity for new adventures, new mistakes to be made and new mountains to climb.
I am free.
Free to speak.
Free to live as I never have before.
Free to be myself.
I feel wings I didn't know I had unfurling and getting ready to send me soaring into a great unknown.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Adventures in Register Hell
Let me begin this little tale with a lesson. You never truly know how much you rely on technology until it decides to abandon you.
Once upon a time when I was working at my job as a kiosk engraver (I engrave things at a kiosk, I don't engrave kiosks. I probably could though.) I was cheerfully helping a customer waste her money on engraving on some flutes for her son's wedding, that she probably didn't need. As I typed her name into our customer locator system when suddenly, a loud beeping noise began to emanate from the computer. It was as if the device had been on life support for a week and suddenly the heart monitor was proclaiming that the computer was no longer living and needed immediate medical attention if it was going to survive. I, as the loving caretaker of the patient, began to panic. No medical staff was rushing to make the beeping stop, so I calmly (or at least trying to be calm) told the customer that I would call her when the register had made a full recovery and take her money over the phone.
Thinking on my very technologically advanced toes, I quickly turned the computer off. Perhaps restarting it, like jump starting it's heart with those paddle things, would revive it. I was wrong. Halfway through rebooting itself, it froze and began to panic again. (performance issues? possibly). So once again I hit it with the shock panels and restarted the computer. This time it very confidently restarted! Congratulations computer!
Feeling rather triumphant, I began to ring up my customer again. But alas, the same tragedy befell my poor computer (who at this point I was beginning to curse at under my breath). So once again I hit it with a restart! This time I allowed it to rest for a good five minutes before I started it up again. When I did it hummed healthily and allowed me to close with no problems and get home right on schedule.
But that was Monday. Tuesday was another story.
I got a call from my manager at 1:30 informing me that she needed me to come in early because our sickly computer had died again, but she was trying to fix it. So after being stuck in traffic for an extra 20 minutes (doubling my normal commute time) I entered the store only to discover that the now not poor or pitiful computer, but the demon beast that can't seem to decide if it's life is worth living anymore, had finally passed on two hours earlier and refused to start again and thus making it impossible for us to make any real progress in our day. Attempting to keep our sales up we had to make people pay in cash or give us all their credit card information so we could charge them for their purchases when the dead carcass positioned on the register was replaced.
only turns out! the guy that was supposed to come in a replace the register "couldn't" today so he was going to come the next day! No one called to inform me, who was at that time working alone, or my absent assistant manager who is the acting manager because our actual manager quit.
So as summary, I'm ready to throw our computer out a window (there is in fact a window in our mall right next to Victoria's Secret that will be used as it's exit into a terrible death) and might bash my head against a corner if it doesn't get fixed by the time I work again.
And that's my life this week... goodie. My mom's also on her honey moon. Which is still awkward to me, but not nearly as weird as thinking of my actual parents together. And i made three and half dozen cookies today. yay.
the end
Once upon a time when I was working at my job as a kiosk engraver (I engrave things at a kiosk, I don't engrave kiosks. I probably could though.) I was cheerfully helping a customer waste her money on engraving on some flutes for her son's wedding, that she probably didn't need. As I typed her name into our customer locator system when suddenly, a loud beeping noise began to emanate from the computer. It was as if the device had been on life support for a week and suddenly the heart monitor was proclaiming that the computer was no longer living and needed immediate medical attention if it was going to survive. I, as the loving caretaker of the patient, began to panic. No medical staff was rushing to make the beeping stop, so I calmly (or at least trying to be calm) told the customer that I would call her when the register had made a full recovery and take her money over the phone.
Thinking on my very technologically advanced toes, I quickly turned the computer off. Perhaps restarting it, like jump starting it's heart with those paddle things, would revive it. I was wrong. Halfway through rebooting itself, it froze and began to panic again. (performance issues? possibly). So once again I hit it with the shock panels and restarted the computer. This time it very confidently restarted! Congratulations computer!
Feeling rather triumphant, I began to ring up my customer again. But alas, the same tragedy befell my poor computer (who at this point I was beginning to curse at under my breath). So once again I hit it with a restart! This time I allowed it to rest for a good five minutes before I started it up again. When I did it hummed healthily and allowed me to close with no problems and get home right on schedule.
But that was Monday. Tuesday was another story.
I got a call from my manager at 1:30 informing me that she needed me to come in early because our sickly computer had died again, but she was trying to fix it. So after being stuck in traffic for an extra 20 minutes (doubling my normal commute time) I entered the store only to discover that the now not poor or pitiful computer, but the demon beast that can't seem to decide if it's life is worth living anymore, had finally passed on two hours earlier and refused to start again and thus making it impossible for us to make any real progress in our day. Attempting to keep our sales up we had to make people pay in cash or give us all their credit card information so we could charge them for their purchases when the dead carcass positioned on the register was replaced.
only turns out! the guy that was supposed to come in a replace the register "couldn't" today so he was going to come the next day! No one called to inform me, who was at that time working alone, or my absent assistant manager who is the acting manager because our actual manager quit.
So as summary, I'm ready to throw our computer out a window (there is in fact a window in our mall right next to Victoria's Secret that will be used as it's exit into a terrible death) and might bash my head against a corner if it doesn't get fixed by the time I work again.
And that's my life this week... goodie. My mom's also on her honey moon. Which is still awkward to me, but not nearly as weird as thinking of my actual parents together. And i made three and half dozen cookies today. yay.
the end
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
Today, Saturday the nineteenth day in May in the year of our lord two thousand and twelve, I have decided to do another post of things that inspire me. My last post like this was all about art, brought on by the beautiful novel My Name Is Asher Lev (Which, I've just learned, has a sequel). But today I decided to go a little broader than just art, although I might mention some beautiful artists again. So let's begin shall we?
First, poetry. As a writer I find poetry to be completely brilliant. I admire people that can take a simple thing like a river, or a bird, and twist words around so it has some great deeper meaning. What I really admire about poetry is that even if you can't understand what the underlying layers of the poem are, you can still feel it. Subconsciously you understand what the poet is trying to say and you have a very real emotional reaction to it. The heart understands poetry in a way that the mind doesn't. The mind needs to be trained to find the meaning in poetry, to understand all it's symbols and beauty, but the heart doesn't. The heart just knows. This concepts of the heart knows what the mind can't comprehend applies to many things (Like V for Vendetta which I watched with The Brother's Orton, their sister and brother-in-law, and Nancy Waldren last night.) like paintings, music and Love.
Here are a list of a few of my favorite poems. Some are short enough to write all of it here, some are very long and only excerpts are given. (All colored lines are things I would get tattooed on my body) I suggest everyone reads the poems in their entirety.
Invictus by William Ernest Henley: "In the fell clutch of circumstance/ I have not winced nor cried aloud/ Under the bludgenings of chance/ My head is bloody but unbowed."
Suicide's Note by Langston Hughes: "The calm,/ Cool face of the river/ Asked me for a kiss." (yes, that's the entire poem.)
Emily Dickinson in general, but a few specifically: "If I can stop one heart from breaking I shall not live in vain"
Stopping By a Wood on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost (Emily's favorite as well): "And miles to go before I sleep/And miles to go before I sleep"
The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe; "Quoth the Raven, Nevermore."
So that's the poetry that Inspires me.
Writers often inspire me. These people have done what I hope to do. Every time I read a good book I think "I'm going to do that someday. I'm going to make someone feel what I'm feeling right now." They have mastered the art of emotion and imagery using only words. Here are a few writers that I want to emulate.
Robert Jordan: "Let the lord of chaos rule!"
Melina Marchetta: "Be prepared for the worst my love, for it lives next door to the best."
Fyodor Dostoevsky: Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.
Markus Zusak: "I am the Message."
William Shakespeare: "For in that sleep of death what dreams may come?"
Victor Frankl: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
To name a few. It's really an endless list.
Music often inspires me as well, although not being a very musical person I don't know why. My mind has been trained to understand the beauty in words, but my heart is still the only part of me that knows why Music is so beautiful. I can say that music says things that no words never can. It has a way of wrapping around your soul and pulling out the most pure pieces of you. Some music I like:
Paramore
Mumford and Sons
Goo Goo Dolls
Lord of the Ring's composer Howard Shore
The Fray
And an eclectic mix of many others.
I could mention many other things that inspire me, like Movies and Art (again), but since this post is already filled with many things I will just skip over those things, because if you read my blog faithfully those things should be obvious. So let's move on to people. There are people who inspire me to be myself, to love, to defy society, to be better. All these people, I love though I only know a few personally.
My Mother: raised four kids, often on her own, and still standing strong.
My Angel Grandmother: Raised four wonderful women and never let the world knock her down.
Natalie Portman: she shaved her head for art. Anyone that can pull that off is awesome.
P!nk: never afraid to be her own person without going to the extremes for attention like Lady Gaga
Emily Juchau: I've read her book and was privileged to be part of the creation process. She's going to do great things.
Van Gogh: beautiful painter, beautiful man
Girls with short hair: cause we're awesome. (including this chick)
Doug Neilson: He never gives up on anyone, even if he'd like to.
J.P. Lilly: He founded B.A.C.A. If you don't know what that is, look it up. He's amazing. He blessed my life.
(Seaman doesn't make the list. He was a weird therapist other than my others)
Everyone in Group Therapy: Joseph, Angela, Chandler, Drew, Brian, Abby, Krissy, and everyone else who I won't name. You guys are the reason I am happy again. You inspire me to write.
That's what I've got for now. Stay Excellent my friends.
First, poetry. As a writer I find poetry to be completely brilliant. I admire people that can take a simple thing like a river, or a bird, and twist words around so it has some great deeper meaning. What I really admire about poetry is that even if you can't understand what the underlying layers of the poem are, you can still feel it. Subconsciously you understand what the poet is trying to say and you have a very real emotional reaction to it. The heart understands poetry in a way that the mind doesn't. The mind needs to be trained to find the meaning in poetry, to understand all it's symbols and beauty, but the heart doesn't. The heart just knows. This concepts of the heart knows what the mind can't comprehend applies to many things (Like V for Vendetta which I watched with The Brother's Orton, their sister and brother-in-law, and Nancy Waldren last night.) like paintings, music and Love.
Here are a list of a few of my favorite poems. Some are short enough to write all of it here, some are very long and only excerpts are given. (All colored lines are things I would get tattooed on my body) I suggest everyone reads the poems in their entirety.
Invictus by William Ernest Henley: "In the fell clutch of circumstance/ I have not winced nor cried aloud/ Under the bludgenings of chance/ My head is bloody but unbowed."
Suicide's Note by Langston Hughes: "The calm,/ Cool face of the river/ Asked me for a kiss." (yes, that's the entire poem.)
Emily Dickinson in general, but a few specifically: "If I can stop one heart from breaking I shall not live in vain"
Stopping By a Wood on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost (Emily's favorite as well): "And miles to go before I sleep/And miles to go before I sleep"
The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe; "Quoth the Raven, Nevermore."
So that's the poetry that Inspires me.
Writers often inspire me. These people have done what I hope to do. Every time I read a good book I think "I'm going to do that someday. I'm going to make someone feel what I'm feeling right now." They have mastered the art of emotion and imagery using only words. Here are a few writers that I want to emulate.
Jay Asher: "Everything ...affects everything."
Charles Dickens: "It is a far far better thing that I do now than I have ever done." Robert Jordan: "Let the lord of chaos rule!"
Melina Marchetta: "Be prepared for the worst my love, for it lives next door to the best."
Fyodor Dostoevsky: Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.
Markus Zusak: "I am the Message."
William Shakespeare: "For in that sleep of death what dreams may come?"
Victor Frankl: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
To name a few. It's really an endless list.
Music often inspires me as well, although not being a very musical person I don't know why. My mind has been trained to understand the beauty in words, but my heart is still the only part of me that knows why Music is so beautiful. I can say that music says things that no words never can. It has a way of wrapping around your soul and pulling out the most pure pieces of you. Some music I like:
Paramore
Mumford and Sons
Goo Goo Dolls
Lord of the Ring's composer Howard Shore
The Fray
And an eclectic mix of many others.
I could mention many other things that inspire me, like Movies and Art (again), but since this post is already filled with many things I will just skip over those things, because if you read my blog faithfully those things should be obvious. So let's move on to people. There are people who inspire me to be myself, to love, to defy society, to be better. All these people, I love though I only know a few personally.
My Mother: raised four kids, often on her own, and still standing strong.
My Angel Grandmother: Raised four wonderful women and never let the world knock her down.
Natalie Portman: she shaved her head for art. Anyone that can pull that off is awesome.
P!nk: never afraid to be her own person without going to the extremes for attention like Lady Gaga
Emily Juchau: I've read her book and was privileged to be part of the creation process. She's going to do great things.
Van Gogh: beautiful painter, beautiful man
Girls with short hair: cause we're awesome. (including this chick)
Doug Neilson: He never gives up on anyone, even if he'd like to.
J.P. Lilly: He founded B.A.C.A. If you don't know what that is, look it up. He's amazing. He blessed my life.
(Seaman doesn't make the list. He was a weird therapist other than my others)
Everyone in Group Therapy: Joseph, Angela, Chandler, Drew, Brian, Abby, Krissy, and everyone else who I won't name. You guys are the reason I am happy again. You inspire me to write.
That's what I've got for now. Stay Excellent my friends.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Mellow Jazz? Bongo Drums? A Big Bag of Weed?
Best Week ever? I think so! and it's only Monday! Why you may ask? Well audience I'll tell you!
First I saw Avengers at Midnight! It. Was. Awesome! If you haven't seen it yet you're probably a noob and asking for it to be ruined for you by all your rude friends, but I'm not that rude friend, but you need to see it! cause. it's. AWESOME! If Barney Stinson made a movie just so it could epitomize awesomeness, this would be it. Only he would be in it and not Robin.
Next! Not so awesome, but I did lunges and my thighs are killing me, but the good pain. The kind TJ's stupid quote "Pain is weakness leaving the body" is about. (not the getting beaten to death by Tom Cruise kind of pain that he seems to think the quote applies to. It doesn't, in case you were wondering.)
Then: I discovered on Friday and Sunday that I am aquainted with two very attractive 14 year old boys. one looks like Alex Pettyfer. (below)
The other kind of like a younger, more redheaded version of Spencer Reid (but better hair. see below) Who knew I had spontaneous Pedophilia? Also Cabe Starr, but he hardly counts.
* Cabe Starr in himself just makes any week better. Here's a little proof as to why "Screw you Darwin!" "I feel like I need a pregnancy test." "I made my friend snort Midol." "If I was a prostitute would you vote for me?" "I've seen Marks naked body more than my own." And that's only the stuff I wrote down or remember. This kind is priceless. sadly I can't date him, cause Cami beat me at Rock Paper Scissors. and she has the Triforce on her wrist. I can't compete with that.
I got a B+ on my 10 page research paper that I was sure I'd bomb! I'm totally ecstatic.
Today, I saw Avengers again, with my Brothers and Angela and Kylee. Fact: My brothers rock. McKay basically is The Hulk (and Bruce Banner for anyone that is confused) and Matthew is which ever Avenger he wants to be cause he's the fastest, smartest, and coolest 10 year old ever (and because he can't decide which one he wants to be cause he loves all of them).
So, the high light of the day and to prove Matthew's Avenger-ness, while I was diligently trying to do my Seminary make up homework, Matthew asked me to move to the other room so he could watch TV. Being the responsible babysitter that I am, I said no because he'd spent the last three hours catching up on Pokemon. I insisted he read a book. He got the remote from me, so I threatened his life and chased him. Because I am in pain from my lunges and can't walk fast, he hid before I could find him. So I found his squirt gun and patrolled the house and his usual hiding spots. After a thorough search I found him buried under my little sisters blankets. So, rationally, I sat on him (I can still do that, but someday he will be bigger than me). He screamed at the top of his lungs, a pitch that could make a dolphin cringe, and I got off. He began to cry and buried his face in the blankets. I was very concerned so I tried to console him and ask him what was wrong. He insisted that everything was fine and that I should leave him alone. This is a normal routine when Matthew is upset so I insisted he tell me. After continuous attempts on his part to bury himself in the sheets, I pulled his hands from his face. What should I discover but dimples deep as the grand canyon and the most devious smile you've ever seen.
It was all a trick!
He dashed out the front door while I was still scrambling to retrieve my fully loaded watergun and ran down the street to hide behind the neighbors fence. 20 minutes of trying to chase him through the neighborhood and lock him out of the house (I may be bigger but he's still faster) I called my mother and she told me to get him ready for bed. Quick as a flash I concocted my revenge plan. I called him in, emptied my weapon and went into the house before him. Before he could get in the door, I found my squirt bottle in the bathroom. Stealthily hidden on a kitchen chair I urged him inside and insisted he brush his teeth. Just when he thought he was safe I shot him in the head! Water was everywhere, and my revenge was sweet. He is faster, but I'm still smarter!
A photo of the soon to be only black Avenger
So yeah, my life is great. My brother is the next Avenger, and someday I'm going to pay for these little battles of ours. But all in all a great week! We'll see how the rest of it goes.
First I saw Avengers at Midnight! It. Was. Awesome! If you haven't seen it yet you're probably a noob and asking for it to be ruined for you by all your rude friends, but I'm not that rude friend, but you need to see it! cause. it's. AWESOME! If Barney Stinson made a movie just so it could epitomize awesomeness, this would be it. Only he would be in it and not Robin.
Next! Not so awesome, but I did lunges and my thighs are killing me, but the good pain. The kind TJ's stupid quote "Pain is weakness leaving the body" is about. (not the getting beaten to death by Tom Cruise kind of pain that he seems to think the quote applies to. It doesn't, in case you were wondering.)
Then: I discovered on Friday and Sunday that I am aquainted with two very attractive 14 year old boys. one looks like Alex Pettyfer. (below)
The other kind of like a younger, more redheaded version of Spencer Reid (but better hair. see below) Who knew I had spontaneous Pedophilia? Also Cabe Starr, but he hardly counts. 
* Cabe Starr in himself just makes any week better. Here's a little proof as to why "Screw you Darwin!" "I feel like I need a pregnancy test." "I made my friend snort Midol." "If I was a prostitute would you vote for me?" "I've seen Marks naked body more than my own." And that's only the stuff I wrote down or remember. This kind is priceless. sadly I can't date him, cause Cami beat me at Rock Paper Scissors. and she has the Triforce on her wrist. I can't compete with that.
I got a B+ on my 10 page research paper that I was sure I'd bomb! I'm totally ecstatic.
Today, I saw Avengers again, with my Brothers and Angela and Kylee. Fact: My brothers rock. McKay basically is The Hulk (and Bruce Banner for anyone that is confused) and Matthew is which ever Avenger he wants to be cause he's the fastest, smartest, and coolest 10 year old ever (and because he can't decide which one he wants to be cause he loves all of them).
So, the high light of the day and to prove Matthew's Avenger-ness, while I was diligently trying to do my Seminary make up homework, Matthew asked me to move to the other room so he could watch TV. Being the responsible babysitter that I am, I said no because he'd spent the last three hours catching up on Pokemon. I insisted he read a book. He got the remote from me, so I threatened his life and chased him. Because I am in pain from my lunges and can't walk fast, he hid before I could find him. So I found his squirt gun and patrolled the house and his usual hiding spots. After a thorough search I found him buried under my little sisters blankets. So, rationally, I sat on him (I can still do that, but someday he will be bigger than me). He screamed at the top of his lungs, a pitch that could make a dolphin cringe, and I got off. He began to cry and buried his face in the blankets. I was very concerned so I tried to console him and ask him what was wrong. He insisted that everything was fine and that I should leave him alone. This is a normal routine when Matthew is upset so I insisted he tell me. After continuous attempts on his part to bury himself in the sheets, I pulled his hands from his face. What should I discover but dimples deep as the grand canyon and the most devious smile you've ever seen.
It was all a trick!
He dashed out the front door while I was still scrambling to retrieve my fully loaded watergun and ran down the street to hide behind the neighbors fence. 20 minutes of trying to chase him through the neighborhood and lock him out of the house (I may be bigger but he's still faster) I called my mother and she told me to get him ready for bed. Quick as a flash I concocted my revenge plan. I called him in, emptied my weapon and went into the house before him. Before he could get in the door, I found my squirt bottle in the bathroom. Stealthily hidden on a kitchen chair I urged him inside and insisted he brush his teeth. Just when he thought he was safe I shot him in the head! Water was everywhere, and my revenge was sweet. He is faster, but I'm still smarter!
A photo of the soon to be only black Avenger
So yeah, my life is great. My brother is the next Avenger, and someday I'm going to pay for these little battles of ours. But all in all a great week! We'll see how the rest of it goes.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Blarg
I just spent the last 45 minutes looking for a new background for my blog. . . . As you can see I didn't find one. I'm giving up. I quit. I'm a quitter. I'm a loser that quits. I'm ok with that. I'm going to bed.
Blog post day #3
Don't spend 45 minutes looking for a blog background. Ask you BFF Cami to do it for you cause she's better at it. the end.
love,
The Quitter
p.s. this is the picture I wanted to use. Blogger said the file was too big. If you can find a way to fix it for me I would love you forever and probably make you cookies.
Blog post day #3
Don't spend 45 minutes looking for a blog background. Ask you BFF Cami to do it for you cause she's better at it. the end.
love,
The Quitter
p.s. this is the picture I wanted to use. Blogger said the file was too big. If you can find a way to fix it for me I would love you forever and probably make you cookies.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
OMG! Toats Heart the Presh!
Day 2:
I'm not really sure why I'm doing this. Free food I guess, but come on Kate, you can make your own treats for yourself that will probably be way yummier anyway! . . . .thanks conscience Kate.Anyway! Today's blog will be about grammar. Now I know all of you grammar nuts out there are thinking "she can't talk about grammar! Look at all the mistakes she's made in the past four lines!" Well to you critics, shut up. My grammar is not great, but it is adequate, especially for the internet. No, I'm talking about the people who can't seem to complete a word to save their lives, or use that abbreviated word in the right context. I am talking about text slang or as I like to call it The Evil Plot To Enslave and Weaken the Minds of Our Generation. I'm not sure who's evil plot this is, but I'm sure it's someones. Maybe aliens, maybe zombies. It could be our very own Dr. Doofenshmirtz using some "bad grammar-inator" on us! All I know is that it's working. So, my congratulations to Dr. Doof.
So here are some of the things that annoy me and other people I know *see dedication.
1. "Legit"
Guys? Why are you abbreviating this word? Legitimate is a fun word to say! Legit just makes you look like a douche canoe that can't speak. Also, you douche canoes that say "legit" could be forgiven if you said it in the right context. "dude that t-shirt is toats legit!" is not a proper sentence. Saying "I wish I was as smart as Shelden because then my social awkwardness would have a legit excuse." (thank you Mr. Collier's T.A.) is a proper use of the slang "legit" get it right, or don't say it at all.
2. "Toats"
As you may have noticed in the above statement I used the term "Toats" this is also annoying. I don't know why the extra two syllable of totally are so repulsive to you, but get over it. There is only one person who can get away with this and his name is Daniel Allanbach, and even he is pushing his limit. Here is why this is really annoying besides the pointless abbreviating: why is it plural? When is "totally" EVER pluralized? Unless you have created a mythical creature called a Totally or a Toat and you have multiple Totallys, don't do it. It makes you sound like an infidel.
3. "lol" and other text words.
I can appreciate saying "lol" in the right context. When you are impersinating a valley girl, or a geek it is fine. Or when one is saying "lol" not "l.o.l.". (or if you are Toby Turner/Jenna Marbles). other than that don't say it, or any other text acronyms that don't need to be said. "BRB", not needed. Just walk away or say "Excuse me, I must go to the lavatory, but I will return presently!". "JAS". I've never heard anyone say it, but I'm sure someone has. Stop it. "WTF". say what the F*#$% or something else. I don't care about three letters. Honestly if you are too lazy to give me more than a few letters of effort I am wasting my time even breathing next to you.
4. "Prec"
This is really only a pet peeve because a girl in my neighborhood said it over Girls Camp and I continually corrected her by finishing her word with "ious" precious! Not Prec. that looks like "P-r-e-k" not "p-r-e-sh". Maybe I'm the only one that spells it correctly though. Whatever. As I told my Kids, Gollum would be ashamed! What if he went around gargling "We wants it! We needs it! The presh." The moment seems incomplete and Gollum looses his creepiness. . . creepy/ "What the crap?" ness.
List of appropriate slang:
Douche Canoe
lol *not L.O.L.
Fuu
Bro
Broseph
Brostache
Bronie
Me Gusta
Groovy
Far Out
Douche Canoe
'sup
Yo
Holla atcha
Word G-man. (anything from She's the Man)
Douche Canoe
if you think of more and have the irresistable urge to use them, comment and I will let you know if they make the list. I will probably keep updating this list as I think of more.
This blog post is dedicated to my Carpool Kids aka My Favorite Asian and The Towhead.
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